There Isn't Time to (Sort-of) Make Jerk Chicken

Can't take the heat? Make this delicious, tangy marinade instead!

Last post, I got a bit serious as I bemoaned the current dark trajectory of my country.

Apologies. It was a rough week.

So, let’s bring the positivity back, shall we? You know what always makes me feel better? A good meal.

In the middle of July, we near what I have monikered “summer peak”: the midpoint between endless summer frivolity (no school! swim team! heat!) and summer doldrums (school’s coming back! boredom! oppressive heat!).

To celebrate this ceremonial transition between “good” summer and “bad” summer, let’s make a food designed to be consumed in a hot and humid climate.

*blasts reggae horn*

Jerk Chicken!

Obviously, I have no ties to jerk chicken on a cultural level (I refer to my guacamole post to wax poetic on making food that you don’t have intrinsic ties to), but the spice mixture’s connection to Jamaica’s indigenous population makes it a perfect fit for the summer midpoint: a flavor profile designed to be enjoyed on a sweltering evening, chased down with a crisp ginger beer (or regular beer) to wash the heat from your tongue.

But, let’s be real folks: I’m a white Jewish dude with a genetic predisposition for indigestion—authentic Jerk flavoring is too much for my fair composition. If I were to make “real” jerk chicken, I would need a Victorian swooning couch. Plus, I have kids who consider ketchup to be spicy.

So, what’s a fella to do if they are craving Jerk chicken but can’t take the heat?

Simple: make…

Sort-of Jerk Chicken!

This recipe is based on something I stumbled across in Food & Wine years ago that takes a lot of the core seasoning components of a jerk rub (all spice, nutmeg, thyme, sugar, vinegar) but reduces the amount and kind of peppers (habanero and scotch bonnet are traded for a modest and easily available jalapeño). It also ups the tanginess by leaning into a citrus flavor profile. The result is something that hits the jerk craving but also won’t make you totally sweat: the perfect summer evening meal.

The recipe is no longer available online, so this is a re-creation based on what I remember, with my own modifications thrown in for good measure.

Ingredients

• 12 chicken thighs

• Kosher salt

• 1 small white onion, roughly chopped

• 3 scallions, roughly chopped

• 1 jalapeño, roughly chopped

• 5 garlic cloves

• ½ tablespoon ginger

• 2 teaspoons ground allspice

• 1 tablespoon fresh thyme leaves

• 1 tablespoon sugar

• ½ tablespoon freshly ground black pepper

• ¾ teaspoon cinnamon

• ¾ teaspoon nutmeg

• ½ cup white wine vinegar

• ½ cup fresh orange juice

• ⅓ cup fresh lime juice

• ¼ cup soy sauce

• 2 tablespoons Coke

• ¼ tablespoon liquid smoke or Worcestershire sauce

• ¼ cup canola oil

Okay, so the first step here is simple but very important: you are going to want to spread the chicken on a single layer on a sheet pan. And, then, you are going to want to salt the living hell out of it….like a Scarface level coating of salt. Once that’s done, let the chicken sit while you make the marinade.

FYI, I made a double recipe for the pictures in this post.

Combine all the dry ingredients (up until the white wine vinegar) into a food processor and make a paste. The spice level of the chicken comes from your pepper of choice. Again, I’m spice adverse, so I use a single jalapeño. But, if you are feeling frisky, a habanero is a more authentic option. Remember to use gloves when handling!

Transfer the paste to a very large bowl (always use a larger bowl than you think you’ll need!) and whisk in the wet ingredients until everything is distributed evenly.

Next, rinse the salt from the chicken, pat dry, and add to the marinade. Cover and refrigerate overnight.

Marinate overnight

Take the chicken out of the refrigerator about a half hour before you are ready to start cooking.

Light a grill and brush the grates with oil. Transfer the chicken to a plate. Pour the marinade into a large saucepan and boil until reduced by half (stir often to avoid sticking).

Reduced marinade paste (I probably let this reduce a bit too much, but you get the idea)

Grill the chicken over high heat for a few minutes per side (to get a nice char). Then, reduce the grill to a moderate/low heat and cook until the chicken comes to at least 165°F.

Serve the chicken with the reduced marinade.

See? Doesn’t that look delicious?

Remember folks, as the summer heat inevitably makes you cranky, don’t be a jerk: make sort-of jerk chicken instead!

Sorry…it’s too hot today…